Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Last night was fun!
Last night was fun! Daddy read my post on being beat the fuck up... and he sure did push me! I haven't been beat that hard in a long long long time. He didn't even max out on his ability to beat me (he said 30% wowzers!), but I look forward to more playing and pushing of pain boundaries. He said he is gonna do it again tonight. Yippee!
How cool is this? I want one! Join FetLife and you can enter too AND meet new kinky folk and discuss BDSM related topics! Email me for my SN on there!
FetLife Kinky Christmas Stocking
XOEC
FetLife Kinky Christmas Stocking
XOEC
Monday, December 22, 2008
Beat me Daddy!
It has been over 2 months since Daddy and I have engaged in any S&M play of any kind. With getting ready to move, moving, money struggles, etc. things have been rough. Our sex life turned almost non-existent with each other (of course my back tweak followed by my slip in ice thus killing my neck for days on end didn't help at all).
I was reading posts on Fetlife.com today about safewords. We do have one in place, but I want to eliminate it. I want to spend a night with Daddy of dirty debauchery and pain play. I want him to grab me by the hair, push me to the ground and step on my neck as he tells me what a dirty cunt I am and that he is going to use me and doesn't give a fuck what I say or want. I want him to use me as an object for his pleasure. Piss on me, tie me up, beat my ass black and blue, fuck my throat until I puke-- whatever he wants. This is what I would like to be able to do for him.
I don't know if this is something that I need to be worked into, or just accept and take it. I am not too good at processing and accepting pain. At least not lately. Maybe if I were tied down with no option it might be different, I don't know. I just want to be able to be for my Daddy what he wants me to be.
It may take time, or I may just have to suck it up and deal with it. Either way, I want to go there.
I was reading posts on Fetlife.com today about safewords. We do have one in place, but I want to eliminate it. I want to spend a night with Daddy of dirty debauchery and pain play. I want him to grab me by the hair, push me to the ground and step on my neck as he tells me what a dirty cunt I am and that he is going to use me and doesn't give a fuck what I say or want. I want him to use me as an object for his pleasure. Piss on me, tie me up, beat my ass black and blue, fuck my throat until I puke-- whatever he wants. This is what I would like to be able to do for him.
I don't know if this is something that I need to be worked into, or just accept and take it. I am not too good at processing and accepting pain. At least not lately. Maybe if I were tied down with no option it might be different, I don't know. I just want to be able to be for my Daddy what he wants me to be.
It may take time, or I may just have to suck it up and deal with it. Either way, I want to go there.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Day Two of Unlimited Orgasms!
I am on day two of unlimited orgasms. Tomorrow the ban is back on. It seems that when I am allowed to come as much as I want I don't want it as much as when I am not allowed to. How strange, but totally makes sense. I always want more what I can't have!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Day Two of Orgasm Control
Master last night made a deal with me where if I didn't orgasm last night as we had previously agreed on (see last post), then I can orgasm as much as I want for the following two days. I'm just waiting for him to wake up so I can start the follies! I hope he doesn't play "let's make a deal" again and delays this much more!!
On a positive side of this, being so in need of release has made me much more compliant and obedient. I truly do feel as if every moment I go without an orgasm is such a service to him. I hope I am making him happy!
On a positive side of this, being so in need of release has made me much more compliant and obedient. I truly do feel as if every moment I go without an orgasm is such a service to him. I hope I am making him happy!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Orgasm control and denial
Master has asked me to blog about my first experience with orgasm control (by him) and denial.
Master has been very interested recently regarding orgasm control and denial. This is something he has always been interested in doing, and lately has been researching blogs and websites regarding that. He even sent me a few links to blogs of slaves that are under severe orgasm control (i.e. over a month or more without orgasm). Reading these blogs scared me, his interest in such scared me.
In past experiences, being unable or not allowed to orgasm regularly has turned me into a cold-hearted bitch. Without regular release I get annoyed, pent-up, frustrated, etc. As long as I have been together with Master (over 2.5 years now), I have been allowed to masturbate and orgasm as much as I pleased as long as I teased myself three times before release. It looks like things are changing...
Last night we lay in bed and he beat me a little. Then he used a dildo, then his fingers, while I played with the Hitachi Magic Wand (my favorite toy ever), while he continued to deny my orgasm after many beggings and pleadings. I think I almost came at least 15 times last night, but never got off. *Sad face*
He gave me two options:
1- Orgasm at that time, but be teased and denied in the same way for the next two days
OR
2- Do not orgasm at that time, and be allowed to orgasm the next day.
I chose option two. I can make it through one night, but two nights?! I don't think I would be able to.
While I don't find this whole orgasm control and denial pleasurable in the least, I trust in Master that he has a "master plan" for all of this and by doing his bidding is just another way I can serve him and please him. I only hope that I don't end up like some slaves that don't orgasm for months on end. I don't know if I could handle that!
Master has been very interested recently regarding orgasm control and denial. This is something he has always been interested in doing, and lately has been researching blogs and websites regarding that. He even sent me a few links to blogs of slaves that are under severe orgasm control (i.e. over a month or more without orgasm). Reading these blogs scared me, his interest in such scared me.
In past experiences, being unable or not allowed to orgasm regularly has turned me into a cold-hearted bitch. Without regular release I get annoyed, pent-up, frustrated, etc. As long as I have been together with Master (over 2.5 years now), I have been allowed to masturbate and orgasm as much as I pleased as long as I teased myself three times before release. It looks like things are changing...
Last night we lay in bed and he beat me a little. Then he used a dildo, then his fingers, while I played with the Hitachi Magic Wand (my favorite toy ever), while he continued to deny my orgasm after many beggings and pleadings. I think I almost came at least 15 times last night, but never got off. *Sad face*
He gave me two options:
1- Orgasm at that time, but be teased and denied in the same way for the next two days
OR
2- Do not orgasm at that time, and be allowed to orgasm the next day.
I chose option two. I can make it through one night, but two nights?! I don't think I would be able to.
While I don't find this whole orgasm control and denial pleasurable in the least, I trust in Master that he has a "master plan" for all of this and by doing his bidding is just another way I can serve him and please him. I only hope that I don't end up like some slaves that don't orgasm for months on end. I don't know if I could handle that!
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